Grace Made Me Whole

When we are broken we desperately want to be made whole. We long to be put back together; to experience healing. We long to be beautiful and unblemished. The scars we carry inside and out are a heavy burden to carry. There are many self-help books, counselors, therapist, relationship coaches, among other strategies to find healing. But often it is in our undoing that we experience true healing. I use to think I had to be put back together to resemble the image I was before I was broken. I wanted to reclaim my own version of my identity and protect it from further damage whatever the cost. I wanted to feel comfortable and happy with myself and find fulfillment in who I was.

In the process of trying to heal myself by glueing the pieces back together and patching the holes, I created an unstable image, marred, scared, and built walls to keep the pain out. The band-aids did not provide healing even if they did hold the pieces together for a little bit. I learned to keep myself away from the things that hurt me and to hold myself gently to prevent more damage. Chip by chip, crack by crack, the desperation to hold myself together only grew and so did my distrust in others, myself, and faith in God.

I was holding on to my broken pieces so tightly that when God began picking up the little pieces of my image I fought to keep them. But time and time again He gently took them. Eventually in the darkest night, the deepest hurt came and broke the little bit I had left. In the dead of night when I came apart completely and He came for my final pieces, I had nothing left to hold on to. So He took my piece and carried it away and for the first time in my life I had nothing left of myself to cherish or protect. In the morning, when the light came, I realized I was not in the same place anymore. God had carried me through the night to a new location. I sat in front of a mirror and behold my surprise when the image looking back at me from the reflection was something entirely new and different. An image unlike anything I could have imagined. There were my little piece and new pieces perfectly put together and made into an entirely new creation.

We can try our best to heal ourselves. But only God can make something entirely new out of us. When He does the healing and the work, our scars are not our identity or our weaknesses. We are His image bearers made in His likeness. We are free to let down our walls and walk confidently in the gifts and talents He has given us. We are no longer consumed or concerned about self-protection or preservation. He alone can heal us and equip us to walk in this freedom. This is what it looks like to walk in His grace and forgiveness. The scars we inflict on ourselves or that are caused by others are never irreparable or even better irreplaceable. How much better is it to walk as a new creation in the fullness of the power of the Spirit then to cling to who were were and who we want to be in this life. Let God take the piece and walk you into His presence where you are made new.